“Alone Again, Naturally”
Listen to this chapter, “Goodbye, Dear Allen—Goodbye.”
Allen was silent in the car that night as they rode back to Carsons. When his mother stopped at a drugstore for cough drops, Julie who sat beside Allen felt his warm hand over hers. Looking at her in the dim light of the streetlight, he breathed, “You’re pretty.”
She made no reply.
At ten o’clock the next morning they started back to Riverdale. They had brunch with the Carsons at a pancake house, Peter and Sandra and Julie and Allen seated together. They were four good friends and behaved as friends should. But a strange new formality existed between Allen and Julie. Not that it should have been any other way, but Julie wondered if there would be an aftermath as there had been before. Allen, too, had a hint of doubt that their feelings for each other were nothing but beautiful faded memories.
Allen drove part of the way home. But because of his fatigue, Mrs. Macintosh took over. Allen climbed into the back seat beside Julie.
“Hi, there,” he began, and immediately took her hand. Julie tensed. What was going to happen? Did Allen mean it—was he sorry for what had happened yesterday? Or was he only trying to prove to himself and to everyone else in the car that Julie was “easy to get”? Julie slipped her hand out of his.
“Please hold hands with me.”
“Why should I?” Both Allen and Julie were very facetious now.
“Because you want to.”
“You’re sitting beside me. That’s enough.”
“Whole hog or none.”
Julie sighed inwardly as her apprehension grew. This sounded and acted like the old Allen. Was there to be another horrible ten months—or more? Every minute of the way home Julie was conscious of his every move. If he was sincere, she didn’t want to hurt him. But she would not allow Allen to play her for a fool.
Allen helped her with carrying her things to her door. But his stiff expression as he muttered, “Goodbye, Stuck-up,” left Julie with a very uncomfortable feeling. “Take him away from me if You wish, dear God,” she prayed silently, “but please—please don’t let him return to the old unchristian Allen.”
Julie was not too surprised when she answered the phone that night to find Allen on the other end.
“Hi, how are you?” he greeted as usual.
“Fine. And you?”
“Okay.” There was a brief pause. “Julie, I—I just called to say, well, I’m sorry…for the way I acted tonight. I don’t mean to hurt you, honest, Julie. I—I guess I just acted without thinking.”
“Don’t we all?” she replied softly.
“Oh, I know,” he said. “But I acted so selfishly. I am sorry, Julie. Please forgive me.”
Julie hardly knew what to say. Many, many times in the past she had heard the same apologetic plea and listened to promises that Allen had broken. But somehow she believed Allen meant it this time. He was not emotional, but his voice was filled with warmth.
“Okay,” she finally whispered. Then, “Are you coming to the youth prayer meeting tonight?”
“No, I’ve got so much homework. See you…sometime. ‘Bye.”
“‘Bye.” And her heart echoed, “Goodbye, dear Allen—goodbye.”
But this, like all true-life stories, is not the end. When or where—or if—it will end, God only knows. Allen has been home to Riverdale since that last Youth Congress. He and Peter enjoyed the company of Sandra and Kurt and Julie, as always.
Meanwhile, Julie received letters from Bill and has seen much more of him. Allen continued to date Mindi back at San Margo Academy. But since that magic April day, Allen and Julie’s relationship remains the same. Theirs is a God-centered love—a new, more mature kind of Christian understanding that gives meaning to yesterday, hope for today, and faith in tomorrow.
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