It was perhaps in such a moment of naïveté that I ventured to post on the Butch/Femme bulletin board with an innocently disparaging remark about the superficiality of “labels” that imitate heterosexual gender distinctions. Toni Tanner, one who was clearly identified as a femme, and was a frequent poster on that board as well as several others, immediately verbally sliced me into shreds. She well knew who “Lady J” was from the “Les Lacey” board.
“What the hell do you know about the lesbian community?” she snarled. “You’re not a real dyke, anyway. You’re a despicably curious suburban married lady who wants the best of both worlds. Well, you can’t have it both ways! So get over it.”