My world is crumbling...

My comfortable security of yesterday
    has become an elusive dream,
And dreaded nightmares
    are becoming realities.
    
For a brief moment of life
    I broke from my bubble
    and dared to let myself love,
        risking the inevitable pain
that now has overwhelmed me,
    that stings sharper than I ever imagined.
    
A deep sadness has engulfed me,
    like a thick fog,
    rolling in from the sea,
blending the gray sky with angry waves,
like the floods of hot tears,
           relentless in their fury,
    coming unwelcomed day and night.
    
I will rebuild the walls
    higher and thicker,
    where hurt cannot penetrate,
        where I cannot feel,
Only pretend,
Outside where they see me,
    is my shell.
But inside I shall be safe,
    and forever and completely
    alone.
--1/18/93