I'm a college girl, they say, sophisticated and
scholarly,
A woman of the world, religiously independent--
Yet, I gaze here through the curtained panes.
The pale gray mist, nightly enveloping
the lighted city, is lifted
Gently by the soft sunbeams that peek
across the campus landscape.
But the invisible barrier separates me still
From my beloved.
The blue-purple hills
That meet the clouds--he is far, far beyond.
He is entranced, lost in the enchantment
Of her spell--she, who has stolen his heart
And dares to keep it.
'Tis in a green valley,
With wild flowers and clear breezes;
They laugh, they work, they sleep,
For she is simple.
He adores her very spirit.
Together they share life's joys, life's secrets.
For many months she has claimed him; she has known
The beat of his heart, the pulse
of his sighs.
His affection, his loyalty,
his devotion he gave
To her, his own pride.
But no more.
He graduates.
Today he leaves her, nothing
Save a rosy memory to torture our blood.
I saw how he looked at her, how she was part
Of him, how every nerve and muscle responds
To her bidding.
You say it's jealousy.
I only know I love him; she has no right
To hold him, to wrench his soul from mine.
When can I laugh in long-awaited tears of fulfillment
And see her give him up, give him back
Into my arms, into my embrace, where
He belongs?
She is no saint, although
Her name reflects it.
Tonight, at last,
He shall be mine!
And then, beyond the purple hills,
She must live without him, without his smile,
Without the touch of his hand, or the sound
Of his voice.
Without the dedicated
Sacrifice, the years of his life
That he has given her.
He's coming home to me! Am I dreaming?
Yet, shall she not retain his loyalty and pride?
Shall she not
Find her spot forever in the heart that he
Would promise to me?
Shall we share eternally
Our minds with unwelcome reminiscence?
I am young as well; my charm lies as a pearl
In a field of diamonds.
She is
A many-sided gem, sparkling and glowing
In his dreams.
Our destiny shall not be left to her.
She, San Pasqual, must relinquish him,
And I will take him, hold him, cherish him--
And love him...
--6/1/64
