Thursday, September 5, 1:30 p.m.
I had decided in advance how I was going to handle this day’s appointment. I will keep the appointment but will not make another appointment depending on: a) Whether or not my re-application for MFA is approved, and b) How today’s session goes (i.e., whether or not she’s going to continue to suggest medication)
When I checked in with the receptionist in Adult Medicine, 3rd floor, she made a point of saying, “You do not have a co-pay today.” I wondered what that meant.
But I was ready when Lisa Galan came out to take me back to her office. My uppermost thought was to keep things moving, to be concise and not over-talk, and to get done in a half hour!
So the first thing I told her was that I was doing better at walking two days a week, but one of the days had to be Tuesday when we went shopping in Alameda and the other day needed to be on a Saturday or Sunday, a weekend day. I was not obsessed with the walking thing so Lisa didn’t push it.
The next thing I talked about (which I had not planned to do) was the cruise planned for October. I told her about our young friend, Brian, who was responsible for raising funds to gift this to us, and I talked about his HIV status. She seemed interested.
Her assessment of me today was that I was smiling more, I seemed happier, and she liked my shirt with the hummingbirds and flowers on it.
I told her I really would like to go to the group for elderly patients, so she got busy at her workstation, looking up the details. She said there are two groups. One group meets on Tuesday (not acceptable) and the other one meets on Thursday (which would be okay). Both groups are “drop-in” groups. She said the Thursday group is facilitated by a male psychiatrist who some people feel is brusque. Okay, that might be a challenge.
“Oh,” she said, looking at her monitor, “I can’t just enroll you in it. I have to request Dr. [she said his name] who will contact you.
Since we had discussed my planned excursion in October, we mutually decided to schedule our next individual therapy appointment for November. And I will just wait for Dr. [Whatever his name is] to contact me. But I won’t worry about it until November.
One last thing right at the end of the session, I made a comment that I felt guilty for getting “free stuff” (including my appointments with Francis for Pain Physical Therapy). Her response was that guilt is only appropriate if you’ve done something wrong. “You haven’t done anything wrong,” she insisted. “What emotion could you substitute for guilt?”
My response was immediate (and somewhat surprised me): “Gratitude!”
She liked that answer!
