Thursday, February 7, 2019, 5:30-7:00 p.m.
I was 10 minutes early tonight. When I checked in, the receptionist told me, “You don’t have a co-pay.” I’m thinking that’s because of have Medical Financial Assistance. Which makes me all the more grateful to be able to do this!
It was a much smaller group tonight! As expected, especially, I thought, if others do have a co-pay. I am feeling grateful that Dr. Whitehead was able and willing to enroll me in this session, which is basically 3 months–February, March, and April–for the first 3 weeks. It will be good (for Linda) to have a break in between them.
Lisa started with mindful breathing (which she taught how to do) with a body scan. There was no music and dimmed lights, like there was in the Pain Management Program this time last year. On this day (February 7, 2017), I wrote in my journal: I’m just too tired to fight any more. Kudos to those of you who are still fighting. That was when my Living with Chronic Pain chapter started. Depression started three years ago (2016). But I did the body scan and mindful breathing tonight easily. She gave two resources: first, search YouTube for “body scan” and also kp.org/listen. At home, I logged on, and under Emotional Wellness podcasts, I saw the following:
| Anger and forgiveness | Listen | Download | Transcript (PDF) |
| Grief | Listen | Download | Transcript (PDF) |
| Panic attacks and anxiety | Listen | Download | Transcript (PDF) |
| Self confidence | Listen | Download | Transcript (PDF) |
| Stress | Listen | Download | Transcript (PDF) |
I definitely will have to go back and listen….
The next thing Lisa did was to have each person check in with name, how we are feeling, and if we were able to keep the commitment we made last week. If someone hesitated, she said, “That’s okay. We’ll come back to you.” I don’t remember now how I said I was feeling, but I reported that I kept a Gratitude Journal every day. She repeated the mantra: “Progress not perfection.”
The discussion part was on “CBT and Thought Distortions.” Lisa reviewed the Cycle of Depression, and again emphasized that we can’t control Feelings unless we intentionally change Thoughts and/or Behaviors. She gave examples and asked for input. She defined Anxiety as struggling with something you can’t change.
She discussed sleep briefly, and referred to the printed sheet, but did not facilitate much discussion. She said that there is a group for insomnia.
Then she focused on Cognitive Distortions, giving another mantra: “Catch it, check it, change it.” Also called “Thinking Distortions.” At once, I am taken back to the discipline of Humanetics (Richard W. Wetherill), as we learned it from Pastor Bob McIntyre in the ’60s. “Command phrases,” they were called. According to Amazon, I purchased in 2013 a Kindle copy of Wetherill’s How to Solve Problems and Prevent Trouble. I’ll have to look for it among the hundreds of unread books I have on my Kindle.
Lisa identified these “thought distortions” as Automatic Thoughts, which always distort reality. And the challenge is to recognize them and change them to Alternative Thoughts. So our “homework” is to make a T-chart with Automatic Thoughts on one side and Alternative Thoughts on the other side.
She ended the session by again going around the room asking member to answer two questions: What did you get out of today’s session? What is your personal commitment for next week? I referred to her definition of Anxiety (see above). My personal commitment is to do my pain physical therapy exercises for at least 6 out of the 7 days.
On the way out, I had a brief conversation with one of the women from the group. Linda and Emily were glad to see me. Linda had changed parking spaces so I had to look for her. Linda had spent the time on her phone doing research on her genealogy project so we talked about that on the way home. I’m glad she has found a productive and enjoyable way of spending her time while I’m in group.
Later that evening…
I got a real-life chance to practice this technique.
STRESSFUL SITUATION OR EVENT:
Facebook would not allow me to post in any of my groups, 3 of which I admin! I could comment but not post. I could not add documents to Files or edit existing documents. I could Accept member requests but I could not send out my usual Welcome Post.
IDENTIFY UNCOMFORTABLE MOOD OR FEELING:
Frustrated. Angry. Helplessness. Hopelessness.
IDENTIFY BODY FEELINGS:
Linda said I was agitated (when I was talking and telling her about it.)
IDENTITY THE THINKING DISTORTION:
If Facebook doesn’t fix this, I will have to give up admin-ing my Facebook groups, or maybe even leave Facebook altogether! Here’s what I posted on my Timeline:
I think the Universe wants me to stay off Facebook until I get my tax returns done! If anyone is in any of the groups I admin, please feel free to talk amongst yourselves until this gets resolved. IF it ever does! If it doesn’t get resolved by the time my taxes are done, I will have to leave all my groups and possibly leave Facebook. Just giving everyone a heads up!
In my own mind, I could see scenarios of me not having ANY community on Facebook, and wondering if it was possible outside of Facebook groups.
CHALLENGE TO SEE IF IT MEASURES UP TO OBJECTIVE EVIDENCE:
My attempt to determine how or if this issue is fixable was to ask (on my Timeline) if anyone else had ever had this issue and, if so, how did they resolve it? Marygrace said she did for 2 days and it just resolved on its own. No explanations.
CHOOSE AND USE AN ALTERNATIVE RESPONSE:
Linda finally convinced me to go through the troubleshooting routine, starting with closing Facebook and re-opening it. I told her I didn’t remember my password and she told me to go to Chrome and find it. Then, if that didn’t work, reboot the computer. I told her I had too many things going on that I couldn’t take time to save all my documents and reboot the computer! Then I spent 3 hours binge-watching TV shows. However, after that, I worked to save everything that was open and I was ready to reboot. But I went back to Facebook and–voila!–the ability to post in groups was back! Problem solved. It just resolved on its own. No explanations.
